My name is Seymour "S.J." Dingle, X, son of Seymour "Nuthouse" Dingle, IX, grandson of Seymour "Pappy" Dingle, VIII. My momma's name is Ida Lou, formally Snarfbutt. Perhaps you have heard of her? No, well I don't blame ya. No one who has would admit it.

Anywho, this is the page of me, a lovable ol' coot. I likes ta think I'm a nice person, but they call me crazy. I still don't understand why. Or who THEY are, anyways.

I am a gopher stylist by trade, and here in my latter years, at the age of 75, I recently acquired my daddy's flea market. Ah, them fleas come from miles to shop at my market, I tell ye. Whoo, hoo!

My hobbies include, small rodents, cheese exploration, watching paint peel, and riding my unicorn, Uni.

I was king of the world for about a week, once. That was nice. But people kept hitting me in the head, so I decided to give that up. I even got to star in my own commercial for the local mental hospital. People hit me in the head there, too. I dunno what it is about my head, just cuz it's shaped like an old rotten potato.

So, within these pages is held my whole life's story. Read and enjoy.

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